Lunar Dominant Masculine Sexuality – A Case Study
My practice is like a nature walk – on each encounter with a new client, we take a journey, never quite knowing where we’re going or what we’ll discover along the way. We trust in our full surrender to universal guidance and divine transmission that we will be lead in the right direction in a state of grace. This week held a particularly inspiring journey that I felt called to share.
A new journey began this week as I met with first time client, Gabe. Gabe is a handsome massage therapist and yoga practitioner in his mid thirties. He is tall with a beautiful body and a gentle spirit. Gabe contacted me specifically around his interest in Shamanism and also hinted that he felt he had blocks in his system particularly around sexuality. Many of his questions and contemplations around relationships and sexuality were deeply thought out and held profound insights that had come from true introspection on his part. Gabe had recently broken up from his relationship of two years with his live-in girlfriend and contacted me with the impression he was blocked or stuck around his sexuality. When I inquired further, he said it took him time to find a connection or feel a connection in sex.
Gabe explained to me in the past, his girlfriend would often desire sex or initiate sex, which generally resulted in Gabe doing his best to please her, but ultimately leaving the experience one-sided and on his part void of intimacy or true connection. Gabe found these interactions difficult and found himself challenged in his ability to stay present for sex or to generate the connection that both he and his girlfriend desired to experience. He expressed that he needed time to feel or generate an authentic connection for this desire to awaken and for him to become aroused. He found it difficult to connect on command.
Gabe expressed to me there were times when his girlfriend or a girl he was dating would reach out and grab at his chest or crotch which instead of turning him on, resulted in him feeling objectified and shutting down. He had trouble getting or maintaining an erection during intercourse and often defaulted to oral sex as a way to pleasure his partner without having to make himself perform. This pleasuring while sometimes enjoyable for him, mostly got his girlfriend over until the next time she initiated sexual contact.
I asked Gabe to tell me about the times he did feel connected to his girlfriend or other women he had dated in the past. Successful sexual moments he did site were having sex right after a yoga class, making love after giving his girl friend a massage, passionate encounters unfolding when meditating with his beloved. “I want the women I date to be attracted to what’s inside me,” Gabe confided.
In an energy assessment, I could see that Gabe’s soul body was deeply interwoven into the sexual desire within his physical body. Based on what I perceived, I was not surprised that Gabe could not find himself aroused from outward sexual suggestiveness or isolated sexual acts. His soul body desired to be witnessed with the power of deep presence before his sexuality would awaken. Sexual Shaman Kenneth Ray Stubbs talks in depth about the distinction of the four energy bodies and their ability to orgasm in documentary Path of the Sexual Shaman. The circuitry for Gabe’s sexual turn on in his physical body was located within his soul. Uninspired by the common form of masculine arousal coming from sight based desire, Gabe’s erotic connection needed to ignite from the inside out, not from the outside in.
We began with a clearing where we burned Artemsia – a powerful herb, which helps anchor the soul body into the physical body, bringing it into deep presence and connection within oneself. We then did a simple meditation where we began with bringing our awareness to the outer most layer of the skin and working our way in to find the inner most and truest layer of self where our divine essence exists. This inner most layer is always available to us but is often one that we forget to access as we default to more surface based way of connecting. During our meditation, when we both journeyed to this inner place, tears welled up in our eyes and an erection in Gabe’s shorts. “The connection is incredible. I’m so open and turned on. I feel like I’m flying and I also feel so nervous and vulnerable.” Gabe’s soul body was luminous and powerful and in its presence and awakening, his physical body went into full force arousal.
We then explored various degrees of openness within his soul body so as not to overwhelm his system. We explored fully open, opened at half-mast, and being completely contained and wearing our opening behind a veil, knowing we need only part the curtain to find it again.
I asked Gabe to drop into his soul body connection and ask to be shown a symbol for this connection within him that he could use to access this space at will. After a second he laughed and opened his eyes. “What did you see?” I asked. “A white circle..?” He said confused. Duh! I thought – The image of the full moon. It was indeed the night of the full moon where our energies were at their peak and lunar energy was fully present on the Earth. “You’re lunar dominant,” I blurted out not even really sure I knew what that meant. Tears welled up in Gabe’s eyes. “That makes so much sense,” he marveled. “Other intuitives have told me I have a strong connection with the moon.”
In Taosit tradition, it is said masculine sexuality is like fire – quick to ignite and quick to extinguish where feminine sexuality is like water – taking a long time to rise to a boil but sustainable and rolling when tended long and well. On the most basic level, Gabe’s sexuality was core water and feminine and like waters of the world, it was governed by the moon. Because there are many preconceived ideas of masculine and feminine and this polarity I’ll take a moment to clarify that by feminine I do not mean woman in gender –terms, nor masculine to mean male based, but am rather referring to a quality and/or characteristic of energy.
Each of us has certain rhythms and cycles to our inner body, emotions, mind-sets. Most commonly referenced, for women, our menstrual cycles frequently sync with the lunar cycles and to the cycles of other women. Men, less commonly discussed, are also subject to influence of lunar cycles even though in our western world we commonly perceive the masculine to be solar dominant as we live by a solar dominant calendar and in a solar dominant society and thus solar dominant sexuality – always turned on. But what does lunar dominant masculine sexuality look like? For Gabe – it looks like nurturing presence, intimacy and connection of his soul body during sex. With this piece of information, instead of blaming or judging himself as blocked or broken, Gabe is now seeing the unique beauty of his sexual desire within his soul. He can now move forward celebrating his lunar dominant sexuality by being aware of what is going to turn him on and creating those situations and seeking a partner who is ready to connect on a sexual soul level.
Another piece Gabe and I examined in our time together was how Gabe was actually getting into relationship and meeting his partners. When I asked him how his relationships with women generally started, he told me that women were generally the ones to approach him and make the first move.. I inquired if he had felt attracted to or magnetized towards these women initially and he said no – while they were beautiful, he didn’t feel his soul calling to be with them. I asked him if there were women he was attracted to on a soul level and if he had approached them or ever asked them out. He said he did experience attractions to certain women but never acted on them. Gabe and I discussed that each time he chose not to do that he was telling his soul and its sexual desire that it didn’t have to be honored or taken seriously. This struck Gabe deeply. I gave him the home assignment of listening for the connection and vibration of attraction towards a specific woman and to acting on that desire through engaging the woman in conversation. In addition, Gabe also agreed to get an app for his phone that charts the moons phases so he could better understand his own cycles and how the moon physical body and soul body.
I was deeply moved by my session with Gabe and was humbled in contemplating this form of masculine sexuality and the depth and complexity of its sensitivity. Of course we desire deep connection with another to inspire our sexuality but Gabe’s sexuality has taken sacred sex to a whole other level. In sacred sex, we seek the sacred through sex, in Gabe’s paradigm, we must be the sacred first to initiate sex. Gabe’s soul has an inner bullshit meter for sacred sexuality and it comes out as a ruthless ref calling foul on any false play. “I’m not feeling it,” his soul will tell him.
Gabe’s ideal future partner will be one who is interested in the spiritual dimensions of sexuality and is on their own journey of self-inquiry. In session work, I am often shown different cultural, religious and spiritual blueprints and pattering of sexuality that are on the planet, and I feel Gabe embodies a new form of masculine sexuality. As the women I work with articulate wanting a deeper and more spiritual connection in sex, I wonder secretly if they have the patience for this new masculine that has sex only from soul connection. Women – are you ready for him?
For more information about Isis and her work visit www.sensualshaman.com
It’s Sunday evening around 8pm and I am walking home from parking my car on the west side. I have a bag of groceries in one arm, a score from the an out of town trip with my theatre company. I’m an opportunist when the option arises to stock up on suburbia goodies for $20 when the same bag of groceries will cost you $55 in New York City. My husband’s favorite cookie Mallomars were on 2 for $5 which retail for $8 at the arm and a leg gourmet grocery around the corner. I felt victorious on my saunter home with my dirt cheap booty tucked under one arm. As I was strolling crosstown, a gruff sounding “Excuse me!” erupted from behind. Everyone’s in a hurry in this city. I moved to the side to let Mr. Bad-Attitude pass. A rotund black man with a 6” long beard who was missing his front tooth brushed passed me in linebacker fashion. We locked eyes. His stormy gate suddenly turned to slow motion.
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