Karen writes… “vaginal intercourse makes me feel like I have to pee… Advice?”

A young female client of mine who is newly introducing vaginal intercourse in her life reached out recently with a question concerning pelvic discomfort she was experiencing. 
.Hi Isis,
I hope you are well. As I have been experimenting a bit more, I was wondering about one thing. When I have sex, I like everything but the penetration itself does not feel pleasurable. I mostly feel like I have to pee and would like it end rather sooner than later. Do I just need to get used to it a bit more or does this mean I am not aroused enough?
I hope you will be visiting the city sometime next year.
Blessings for the holiday season!
Karen
My Response:
How lovely to hear from you. First of all congrats on getting to know your body and also being really attuned and sensitive to her feelings and experiences. It sounds like you’re getting to know what your body likes and also what it doesn’t like. Your body will also keep changing as I’m sure your lovers will. It will go through its own seasons. The sensation in your vagina will change as well in different phases of your menstrual cycle. Sometimes the uterus will be lower other times higher which will effect the sensation in your vagina. Sometimes if will be full of blood and be heavier and press on other organs like the bladder. Women have pound for pound as much erectile tissue as men and things swell. They just swell on the inside. Sometimes you may retain fluid and other times you may feel quite dry. Also feeling like you have to pee during penetration also sounds like your G-Spot might be getting stimulated on the inside and you might be moving towards ejaculation and not urination. This is just a thought and something to explore you might want to watch the DVD Divine Nectar which is a beautiful rendition on female ejaculation.
Any pressure on the anterior wall of the vagina might feel like you have to pee so why not try an experiment. Empty your bladder before self-pleasuring and try inserting your fingers during your self-pleasuring ritual. In addition, toys like smooth crystal wands of rubber dildos can work as well. I would recommend becoming stimulated to an extent where your vagina actually communicates to you that she would like stimulation. Another option is to have your current partner give you a yoni massage where you can guide what you like and decide in the moment what you don’t. The likes and dislikes will change over time. You could also consider going to experience a sensual massage from a provider where you can speak about your concerns. If you would like some recommendations you can let me know. 
Wishing you all the best in your erotic adventures!
Love,
Isis

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